my boopies has a boyfriend

Stella and Dresden

Not too impressed at first

Then she thought he was kind of funny

Then he went in for the kiss
Just hanging out

Cuddling

"Hey baby"

Love day and 3 months old today!

Stella is three months old today, I can't believe it. She's changed so much and her personality is really coming through. We have such a happy happy baby for the most part. She's been giggling so much and become really aware of what's going on around her. I'm getting sad that she's growing so fast, but she is so much fun!

For Valentine's day, Matt let me sleep in while he took care of Stella until 10:30! It felt so good to sleep in knowing that Stella was taken care of. Then when I woke up, he had breakfast ready for me: eggs and bacon and toast. He had the house cleaned and was wearing the moby wrap. It was so cute. During my breakfast someone came and delivered flowers for me from Matt- daisies because he always calls me his daisy. After that we opened gifts from eachother and he got me real Uggs! I'm so excited! I've waited so long to have my own real ones, I've always just worn the cheapos but I was so surprised and excited! I got him some Burberry Touch cologne and Godiva, but I secretly got the cologne for my own benefit. He smells sooo good today.

Stella got a lamb for Valentine's Day. When I was little I had lambs in my bedroom and I wanted her to have the same. It's been so hard to find cute lambs though, and the one I got is ridiculously cute. I'll put pictures of up later.

Tinner got some toy mice. =)

After gifts we went out to a coffee shop in Moose Lake that we've never been to before. It was such a great atmosphere, and I can't wait to take Stella there during the days when we just need to get out. They have a huge leather couch and a glider. There is also a little store attached with craftsy things, photography, books and antiques. Not to mention it's super inexpensive coffee. Matt got an americano and I got a breve and the total was $2.15!

We then picked up some snacks. We plan on renting a Pay Per View and making our own pizza tonight and drinking some good wine. It's been such a great day sofar, and I'm looking forward to a relaxing night. I didn't have many expectations for a good Valentines Day since we have a baby, and no babysitter, but it has been such a great day for our little family.

this is for anna.

little updates.

1. i got my wedding ring back on.... to stay!
2. stella has started napping in her crib. i'm not ready for her to sleep there at night, even though i'm sure she's ready. not ready to close that chapter.
3. i can see the ground through the snow!
4. i drove to duluth and back lastnight in an freezing rain storm because i needed some alone time.
5. matt snooped his valentine's day present
6. i am not ready to be 24 in a month
7. i haven't really cared about losing baby weight until now.
8. stella is laughing, but only when we ask her if she got "poopies on the wall" or say "goofy girl"
9. i finally gave in and bought a pair of new jeans since i can't fit in my old ones yet, even though i was positive i would be back in them by christmas. hmmmm.
10. the new fray cd is amazing.

Hmmm.. Click for bigger.

Lazy afternoon

What they never told me about becoming a mother...

Is how protective I'd be.

At this point, only knowing this little human being for two and a half months, I cannot imagine what I would do if anything happened to her. And I am responsible for keeping her away from harm.

I can't tell you how many times I wake up in the night and check her breathing STILL. I'll check on her three or four times during a nap. I check on her while she's in my arms. I am the most cautious driver EVER with her in the car.

Motherhood is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced, but it's also the scariest. I'd give my life in a heartbeat if it meant she would be safe. I hear stories of people getting their children abducted or taken from them or passing away and I see them in a whole new light. The thought of something happening to her is unfathomable. I cannot imagine how I would continue my life.

My choices do not just involve me and my husband anymore. I think of her. I'm her advocate, protector, comforter, provider. I only want what is best for her.

I see God's love for me in a way I could not understand before, and do not have the words for now. I am a child of his, and if this is how I feel towards my own child, I can catch a glimpse of how he feels towards me. Selfless,looking past faults, willing to give His own life to save mine. This is the greatest love, i am sure.