In my mind I percieve myself to be much older than I look. I've somehow been "blessed" with looking younger. It is a reality check to be walking around a mall pushing my baby and get sideways glances from those more "seasoned". Sometimes my defenses go up and I make my ring more visible. But then people just think I'm engaged because I have a baby when really I'm married but I still can't, for the life of me, fit my wedding band on my finger. So instead, many times I push my defenses aside, smile and move on knowing that one day when I'm forty, I'll look thirty and won't need anti-wrinkle cream or botox or have a complex.
My first birthday as a mother was probably better than my first birthday pregnant (neither Matt nor I can remember what we did last year for my birthday). We drove to Duluth and went shopping and went out to eat. On the way there, Matt gave me a card which enclosed coupons for a full body massage, champaigne candles and dinner, and a professional massage.
I also got this:
which smells so delicious I can't even explain.When we got home, we put Stella to bed then Matt handed me a paper bag full of stuff and told me to go over to the cabin where he had a surprise waiting for me. When I got there I was so disappointed that I didn't bring my camera because it was so beautiful. The cabin was completely dark, with candles leading to the bathroom where he had a bubble bath ready for me in the big tub. There were candles surrounding the tub (24 in the bathroom), a glass of wine next to the tub with a towel, my book, and my homemade soap. In the paper bag were comfy clothes to change into after my bath. It was so wonderful. He really does love me.
