Here we are.

Another New Year is just hours away. 

We are celebrating it by being homebodies (Wyatt is sick... and we are just homebodies).

When I look back on this year, there are a lot of highs and lows, ups and downs that flash through my mind. We've been on quite the ride of emotions, learning lessons, living life and sometimes just figuring out how to get to the next day. Sometimes we get to the next day, and don't know what to do then, either. There's been a lot of that.

My son was born this year. 

My marriage has grown.

My girl has grown.

My mom fell in love.

My heart has been full.

This year has flown.

Years fly when your heart is full.

This coming year, I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm usually pretty pro-"winging it" and hoping for the best, but this year is deserving of some intentionality. 

^I want to listen to my heart more. I want to know myself better. I want to keep it open.
^I want to love others unconditionally.
^I want to worry less, and trust more.

Happy New Year.

Revi.

Some randoms of my babes

A girl of mine.

Winkle Winkle

Whirlwinding.

This month is taking it out of me.

I'm not sure if it's my foggy mind caused by the prolonged exhaustion with no end in sight, or the simple way life can relentlessly add one more stresser the moment you start to adjust to the last.

The "thread hanging" feeling has lingered for much longer than my comfort allows and I am ready to collapse in a pile. I'm ready for some constance. Some sturdy. Rest.

One day I might look back on this year to see a time in which I was growing, learning, loving... One day I might wish I'd have savored these days more. So.

Dear future me,
I'm savoring them. Each little giggle and goofy smile. Each knowing kiss and hug. I am.

Good morning world.

This weekend has left me refreshed with a renewed ability to find joy in the small things. The trees are bare and the grass is brown. The air smells like winter and it may be a long one. And this week is normally filled with reflection and sadness. And although having children has given me a new perspective on loss, there is a warmth in my heart. I'll call it joy. The kind that sticks through the long wintr and allows me to find beauty in brown grass and bare trees and... Grief. I've always found God to be the nearest during troubling times and somehow this year, this season is a reminder of that. The God of Novembers.

I don't know

Matt started this blog a few years ago around the time that Stella was born, and I'd say for the most part, this has been about her. I keep up with this better than her baby book as far as milestones and little blurps about parenting and kind of learning as I go. I wish I had more of a purpose for writing, but by the end of the day (or in the middle) the chaos has put my mind in a temporary numbness and for the first season in my life (which I admit is not very long) I don't feel like writing. Now I've thrown Wyatt into the mix as well as some fun pictures with amateur photography skills and when it comes down to it... it is what it is.

I don't really like watching TV and I know that I could probably live without it forever, but it seems that's how I've been spending my evenings lately. Maybe I'll try writing more instead. I'm not making any promises, though. But tonight, I'm writing. And I'm going to start with rambling. Setting the bar low.

One of my favorite ways to spend my days lately is crossing off items on my to-do list. Productivity. This weekend was full of it and I didn't even need to nag Matt for anything. We were good at the whole teamwork thing this weekend. We did super-important tasks like turning the doorknob around on Stella's door so that we can lock it from the outside. No more cleaning up lunchtime's mess, thinking my girl is in her happy (quiet) place and then hearing pitter patter down the stairs, "I tumming, Momma!" No more being in fear that she will somehow make her way outside at night. Since we've lost our cat, I've become pretty nutty and overprotective.

Other tasks crossed off this weekend:
-Cleaning out the Sauna room
-Taking out the garbage
- Donating clothes
- Grocery shopping
-Returning items to various owners
-Making Pastrami omlets
-Visiting the puppies at Petco (and falling in love with a shepherd/pitbull mix named Georgia)
-Buying diapers
-Getting my bangs trimmed
-Buying Christmas outfits for the kids (Thanks Gap 40% sale!)
-Having a bar date. (Involving having a beer and onion rings at Axels- Thank you Dave and Tessa!)
-Moving and burning wood from the tree Matt cut down a few months ago
-Problem solving on Nana's eliptical machine
-Dreaming about snakes trying to get into our house

I'm feeling like I've gotten a part of myself back. I'm going to attribute that to my children and their amazing decision to bring sleep back into their lives. Wyatt is doing 5 and 3 hour stretches at night. Stella napped the past two days. If she naps tomorrow, my life could very well be turning around.

I'll leave you with a picture of Wy's new favorite past time:

3 months

Hansome boy,
It's fun to see your personality start to shine through those big eyes. I'm in love with your adoring smile and your flirty smirk. Your giggles are starting to leak out. I love you, baby boy. I love that you want to be with me all the time. I love sneaking you into bed in the early morning. I love the smell of your hair. So glad you're mine.

Stella funnies

"alligators in 'ner momma?" (while I'm brushing my teeth)

Me: "Stella, did you know that Nana is daddy's momma?"
Stella: "and Nons?"

Stella "nother olibb?"
Me: "you may have another olive after you eat more of your broccoli"
Stella: "no!! I want olibb! Pweeeease!"
Me: "sorry no olives until you eat more broccoli"
Stella "fine" (starts waiting broccoli)

Small steps

Today is day five with no pacifier! We started Friday night and she hasn't had one since. I'm actually really surprised how well it's been going considering she was addicted to her Nuk. She needed it day, car, nap, and at bedtime. I thought I'd take it slow and just try to give it to her during nap and bedtime, but then she started chewing the ends apart and it was dangerous for her to have one in her mouth at all. We've only had a few tears, mostly just whining. It was actually a great time to do it because she's had a stuffy nose, and couldn't breathe with the Nuk in her mouth anyway. Yay for small steps! Next is potty training but I'm not rushing that. We tried going a day with no diapers but we only lasted three hours and six accidents. Now anytime I ask if she wants to use the potty, she cries. Looks like we have a little ways to go with that one.

Catching up.

This year will be marked in my memory as one of the most gorgeous Minnesota fall's that we've had in a long time. The sunny days and the crisp air, the smell of the trees and the perfect temperature reminds me why this is my favorite time of year. It's been a lot of fun to see Stella enjoy the changes in seasons this year since last year she was pretty oblivious.

Matt has taken on the hobby of brewing his own beer. We've already gone through one batch and it is delicious (according to our standards). We both share a love for the rich, hoppy beers and that is exactly what came out of his first batch. He has started both his second and third batches which involve a little more creativity on his part. And based on the taste he gave me yesterday, the second batch is going to be even better than the first.

We're still in the waiting game during the process of buying our house. I tell myself it will all be worth it in the end, but right now it's hard to see the finish line. We had a meeting on Friday and minds were put at ease that progress is continually being made. I guess our job right now is to be patient. We are looking at other houses just to see what else is out there right now, and Matt and I are both pretty confident that this is our best option. So that feels good.

Our dear cat Tinner ran away a little over a month ago on our 3rd wedding anniversary and we miss her a lot. Matt and I were never cat people, but Tinner was always a member of our family. We continue to get phone calls about spotted cats (we have signs put up around our area) and "strays" so we are thankful for the people that are looking.

These months have been flying by and the kids are growing like weeds. Stella is talking more and more every day. She is such a chatterbox. She absorbs so much of what we say and so much of what is going on around her. She loves the movie Finding Nemo and TV shows Wonder Pets, Franklin, and Little Bear. She loves to sing and when she wants me to sing too she'll say, "Momma, like this...Winko Winko witto star". She has a high degree of curiosity as well as a very short temper. If she can't figure something out, like a puzzle, she will get very frustrated and throw it and scream. We joke that she gets that from Matt. She is also very thoughtful and independent. I've been reading "Loving our Kids on Purpose". It was reccommended to me by a friend and it's about loving your children the way God loves us... by giving them freedom. It's really helped me lately in parenting Stella since she is a very strong willed child. I know she has so much potential and I don't want to squash it by being a controlling helocoptor parent. My anxiety in this department has gone down significantly since giving her a little space to explore and make mistakes in a safe setting. Matt is better at this than I am.

Wyatt is getting so big and so very alert! He is definitely a Momma's boy, but loves watching motorcycles with his dad too. I can't imagine our family without this little guy. So far, he seems like the introspective type. Very serious. His smiles will melt you, though. And I could stare all day long at his eyes! I think they are the most beautiful thing in the world.

 

We are learning to let go a little, here. And getting less and less time to blog. I hope to be more intentional.

Enjoy the sunshine.

Falling into apples.

2 months.

I'm a little late on the 2 month pictures, but boy, I love my boy! He's smiling all the time now, although we do love his serious side as well =)

The many faces

About a boy

Growing too fast.

Bumpa love

Stella's new friends

Stella's new favorite characters are the Berenstain Bears. My mom saved all of my books from when I was younger which includes close to the entire Berenstain Bear series. She also bought Stella several DVD's as well as these stuffed animal bears. Stella has to take them everywhere she goes, and she has to have all four. Every morning I haul her down the stairs with all four bears and her Lammy.

22 Months