Lazy afternoon

What they never told me about becoming a mother...

Is how protective I'd be.

At this point, only knowing this little human being for two and a half months, I cannot imagine what I would do if anything happened to her. And I am responsible for keeping her away from harm.

I can't tell you how many times I wake up in the night and check her breathing STILL. I'll check on her three or four times during a nap. I check on her while she's in my arms. I am the most cautious driver EVER with her in the car.

Motherhood is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced, but it's also the scariest. I'd give my life in a heartbeat if it meant she would be safe. I hear stories of people getting their children abducted or taken from them or passing away and I see them in a whole new light. The thought of something happening to her is unfathomable. I cannot imagine how I would continue my life.

My choices do not just involve me and my husband anymore. I think of her. I'm her advocate, protector, comforter, provider. I only want what is best for her.

I see God's love for me in a way I could not understand before, and do not have the words for now. I am a child of his, and if this is how I feel towards my own child, I can catch a glimpse of how he feels towards me. Selfless,looking past faults, willing to give His own life to save mine. This is the greatest love, i am sure.

Stella says hi!

Stella goes to the doctor

Stella had her two month appointment today (we are a little past due because of a conflict in Matt's work schedule and me not having a car) and I had my 6 week check-up (again, very past due). Anyway both of us are great. Stella was 24 inches long and 11lbs 101/2 ounces. She's in the 88th percentile for height and the 34th percentile for weight and 38th percentile for her head. She's a tall, skinny little girl! She hated her shots and screamed for a good five minutes after the whole process but she's been sleeping ever since. I encouraged Matt to come along today because of the dual appointment and shots, but I don't know if I will do that again. Here are the three golden things Matt had to say to the doctor today:

"Is it bad to teach her how to hold the bottle herself?" (Sometimes he tries to get her to hold the bottle while he's feeding her just to be funny, but this made it sound like we were propping it up and leaving her to fend for herself)

"She loves watching TV!" (I had to clarify that NO we do NOT prop her up in front of the TV and leave her to be entertained, but rather how she will turn her head to the TV when we are holding her in the living room)

"So it's okay to let her watch rated "R" movies? (When Dr. was explaining what her vision is like at this age and how she can't see clear very far)

I was relieved that the Dr. laughed at all these things and knew he was joking, but he embarrases me every time we go to an appointment. I love him though, of course. =)

Ode to Tinner

Matt and I have decided that we have the best cat we could ask for. Matt's cousin Dave found her on the side of the road with a tin soup can stuck on her head and we've had her ever since. Here are a few special moments with Tinner:

Taking a nap with Stella

Hanging out with a close friend

Chillin' under the couch

Hanging out inside the recliner

Warming up her feet by the space heater

My Boopies