Lazy afternoon

What they never told me about becoming a mother...

Is how protective I'd be.

At this point, only knowing this little human being for two and a half months, I cannot imagine what I would do if anything happened to her. And I am responsible for keeping her away from harm.

I can't tell you how many times I wake up in the night and check her breathing STILL. I'll check on her three or four times during a nap. I check on her while she's in my arms. I am the most cautious driver EVER with her in the car.

Motherhood is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced, but it's also the scariest. I'd give my life in a heartbeat if it meant she would be safe. I hear stories of people getting their children abducted or taken from them or passing away and I see them in a whole new light. The thought of something happening to her is unfathomable. I cannot imagine how I would continue my life.

My choices do not just involve me and my husband anymore. I think of her. I'm her advocate, protector, comforter, provider. I only want what is best for her.

I see God's love for me in a way I could not understand before, and do not have the words for now. I am a child of his, and if this is how I feel towards my own child, I can catch a glimpse of how he feels towards me. Selfless,looking past faults, willing to give His own life to save mine. This is the greatest love, i am sure.

Stella says hi!

Stella goes to the doctor

Stella had her two month appointment today (we are a little past due because of a conflict in Matt's work schedule and me not having a car) and I had my 6 week check-up (again, very past due). Anyway both of us are great. Stella was 24 inches long and 11lbs 101/2 ounces. She's in the 88th percentile for height and the 34th percentile for weight and 38th percentile for her head. She's a tall, skinny little girl! She hated her shots and screamed for a good five minutes after the whole process but she's been sleeping ever since. I encouraged Matt to come along today because of the dual appointment and shots, but I don't know if I will do that again. Here are the three golden things Matt had to say to the doctor today:

"Is it bad to teach her how to hold the bottle herself?" (Sometimes he tries to get her to hold the bottle while he's feeding her just to be funny, but this made it sound like we were propping it up and leaving her to fend for herself)

"She loves watching TV!" (I had to clarify that NO we do NOT prop her up in front of the TV and leave her to be entertained, but rather how she will turn her head to the TV when we are holding her in the living room)

"So it's okay to let her watch rated "R" movies? (When Dr. was explaining what her vision is like at this age and how she can't see clear very far)

I was relieved that the Dr. laughed at all these things and knew he was joking, but he embarrases me every time we go to an appointment. I love him though, of course. =)

Ode to Tinner

Matt and I have decided that we have the best cat we could ask for. Matt's cousin Dave found her on the side of the road with a tin soup can stuck on her head and we've had her ever since. Here are a few special moments with Tinner:

Taking a nap with Stella

Hanging out with a close friend

Chillin' under the couch

Hanging out inside the recliner

Warming up her feet by the space heater

My Boopies

I'm thankful that we finally got our driveway plowed so I don't have to take a trek accross the frozen tundra to get in the car, shake the snow out of my boots, and go get groceries. It's nice to know we'll be able to get the Cobalt out of the driveway if need be (after a lot of work of course because right now it looks like a gigantic marshmallow). I'm sure the UPS guy is going to be pretty excited too this week too when he delivers my Moby sling (Stella has decided she does not like to be put down at all at this point). I could almost hear him cursing as he trudged through the snow just to deliver my next Twilight book. Poor guy, I hope he waterproofed his boots.

Nate and Dani, and Austin and Lauren came up to visit for the weekend and Stella decided that she'd rather be a part of the party than take any naps so yesterday when everyone left she slept from 2 until 7, and then slept again all night! I remember when I was pregnant she would always shift to the side that was closest to another person. I have a feeling she is going to be a very social little girl.

Nate, Dani and Stella

Stella making sure to hold onto that Nuk for later. Notice, not a trace of any eczema left!

I blame the cold weather for the skin problems Stella and I have had (although I have doubts this is the case). Since I gave birth to her I've had very itchy skin that results in inflammation. My Aunt Judy diagnosed me a month later (when I gave up on the hormone excuse) with "dermographism" which literally means "skin writing" because you can see the lines immediately after you scratch. She suggested some Benedryl at night and Zyrtec or any other antihistemene during the day. Well before I get myself addicted to antihistemenes, I heard to try Noni juice, which is a natural juice from Hawaii. I started about two weeks ago, and plan on giving it a few months to work its magic.

Stella, on the other hand, has been dealing with baby eczema for about a week. Thanks to her Aunt Karyn, we had some Emily skin soother on hand and we've noticed a significant difference in just a few days. Our poor little itchy girl is looking and seems to be feeling much better. We're still applying it two to three times a day and also using the soap for her baths.

The difference one night made:

Before After

Stella's 2 months old!

I can't believe Stella is already 2 months old and how much she has changed. Last night she slept from 9pm-7:45am! When she woke up she tried out her new toy (in pictures below).



Talking and laughing at the animals



She couldn't stop smiling!


We are so tired of the cold and snow. I finally gave in to paying to get our driveway plowed today. Walking from the Explorer to the house is exhausting, especially carrying groceries. At one point I had snow up to my thigh. It was pretty for Christmas, but I'm definitely counting down until spring when I can take Stella outside instead of being cooped up all day. I went snowshoeing a few days ago and took some pictures of our winter wonderland up here.



Sunset over the golf course



The lake



Our home



My cool snowshoes



And Matt's sweet boots!





We have Stella's 2 month appointment tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to her shots but I am looking forward to seeing how much she's grown.

Huh?

Really, mom?

Stella has slept through the night (from 9pm- 5ish am) for three nights in a row! Then after her morning feeding she falls asleep until around 9am. We've been giving her a bath every night (every other night we use soap), feed her, put her down awake and she falls asleep within 15 minutes. It's been so nice to get some good sleep!

We came down to the Cities on Monday for Addison's 19th birthday. Here are some pictures:

Highlights of our Christmas vacation in the Twin Cities and Wisconsin:

1. Spending so much time with family
2. Stella meeting so many new people
3. Nights talking in the hot tub with my sister (who i haven't seen since September)
4. Matt got to try out his new boots and bindings snowboarding with Addison
5. Opening Stella's Christmas presents
6. Seeing Marley and Me
7. Date to Benjamin Button with Matt
8. Stella's smiling
9. Some good wine
10. Great food! (too much =)
11. Shopping with Anna
12. Spending New Years at home with our little family
13. Starting the Twilight series
14. Matt getting to smoke some good cigars
15. Watching Stella grow and change every day
16. Our first Christmas as a Mom and Dad